last week: part 2

ah yes, day 2.

I awoke to the sound of chirping birds and a real cool breeze passing through the field to the east of my site— the sun was beating down on the tent, which brought on a pretty intense heat inside (the battery powered fan did it’s job at night, but it couldn’t take on the heat of the day) so i opted to head out fairly early and grab myself breakfast at a local diner in town. i knew it was local as when i walked in and asked for a seat at the counter, the entire restaurant simultaneously dropped their forks on their plates and looked up at me— i never felt more at home.

after breakfast, i hit the trail— my plan for the day was to not have a plan. i knew i wanted to try and drive at least an hour north to the white mountains national forest and maybe even franconia notch, if i was feeling real courageous. so i got on the road and plugged my destination into waze— about halfway, i decided that i didn’t want to use a gps so i shut it off and got off the highway— my grandfathers never used a gps and they navigated their stays away from home, there’s no reason i shouldn’t do the same.

i began to travel down a one lane highway which seemed like it would be scenic— it turned out that it very well was. i drove that road for about 40-45 miles until i saw a sign that pointed me to the white mountains— about another ten miles out. i smiled to myself as i celebrated the successful navigation— i felt just like magellan.

i drove through the white mountains and caught a ton of beautiful views from the roadside— i snapped some film with my zoom lens and took some long exposures with my tripod. i met a real nice couple who told me about how they’ve lived in the area for so long but have only begun to appreciate it in their retirement. i’d show you the view, but that film ain’t developed yet.

i finally got back to the main highway and followed the signs for franconia notch— i drove about another 40 minutes north and stumbled upon some next level views— a gigantic rock face that you would only believe is made by god himself. there’s something about mountains that make you realize how beautiful nature can truly be— they’re symbolic for so many reasons. i didn’t have time to hike the whole trail as it was fairly late in the afternoon— but i did take about an hour stroll on one of the trails— i’ve hiked plenty of mountains before, it’s something i don’t do enough of. but i came to a realization on the trail: generations before me overcame mountains both SYMBOLICALLY and physically (think about the men who lugged artillery through the mountains from fort ticonderoga)— there’s no reason i shouldn’t do the same.

i made my way back down to the car and headed southbound on the highway—i threw some caamp on the radio & took in the views from the road on my way back. i stopped on the roadside, and picked up another few loads of firewood. i made a quick stop at the market and picked up a steak— i then headed back to the site. i heard some thunder off in the distance once i got back, but i lucked out with no rain— i built a fire just as i did the night before that would be ready to light as the sun went down. i opted to take a quick shower outside as the sun was able to heat the pail of water i had lugged down the previous day. i threw on a clean pair of jeans and a belt— but for the first time in my life, i decided i didn’t have to wear a shirt, i didn’t have to wear shoes. i felt the grass between my toes & the sun on my back— it sounds silly, but i truly felt connected to nature, to my ancestors— i was seriously reminded that there is a different way to live as a human being.

I cooked up that steak over the fire and poured myself two shots of whiskey this time— i picked up my guitar, and played around with the lyrics i had written the night before— i practically finished a handful of tracks that i had written months prior— songs about war, about heartbreak, and about gratitude— some personal lyrics and some not-so-personal lyrics i’ll soon be ready to record. i sat under the stars as the fire died down and pondered whether or not those generations would be proud of me— could i hold my own? would i survive if our resources suddenly disappeared? how self-reliant am i, truly? the native americans had a name for traditionally feminine men who were unable to perform the tasks of the able-bodied warriors who roamed american forests, stalking their prey and hunting them with a spare— would i have been a berdaches?

to answer modestly, i don’t think so— but i also don’t think i’d be living up to the standard of the alpha males who ruled their tribes. every able bodied native male was expected to be a proficient hunter, angler, and warrior— could i handle all of that? ehhhh, maybe, maybe not.

but, what i really concluded? i should be able to.

before going to sleep that night, i read some of the fifth chapter of the gospel of matthew— it contains one of my favorite verses in all the bible— “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of god” - matthew 5:9

i’ve always found some solace in that quote— that night, it really refined my belief that the idea of god is synonymous with the idea of peace amongst men— i believe the idea that violence, kept under VOLUNTARY control, will always remain superior in comparison to the approach of non-violence. there is serious evil in the world, and if you don’t prepare for it adequately, you’ll be doomed when you need to face it— your principles are nothing when you’re facing the barrel of a loaded gun with nothing but your words to shout back. our ancestors were prepared to fight like their lives depended on it— we sit comfortably now, but what if that comfort suddenly disappeared?

i went to bed that night and i felt different— there was a sense of accomplishment. i took a lot in on these few days away, and it started to make me REASSESS what i’ve been doing wrong and what i’ve been doing right in my life, what i need more of and what i need less of— when that film comes back, i’ll be sure to share some shots i got.